September 15, 2006
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More memo's from Daddy: Hello baby
boy, it's almost 3 years now since you have been gone
and well it hasn't got much easier without you. Today has
bee very rough, we were listening to a Cd we got your
little brother Kaden and some of the songs were ones
that mommy and I used to sing to you and I guess being
so close to your Bday, it really started bothering me you
not being here. I just started crying and kept trying to
sing, but couldn't. Sometimes when I'm playing with
Kaden i think how happy I am, But I know that if you were
here I could be so much more happier. And it makes me
feel sad that your not here to have fun with us and that
depresses me, cause it's still not fair that your not here. I
think I'm starting to feel mad again that your not here.
This year may be harder because it just is or maybe
because you would have started school. I would have
been so excited to take you to school for the first time
and waited for you to come home and tell me all about it
and how much fun you had and how many new friends
you had met and how nice your teacher was. I would
have looked forward to helping out on field trips and
doing parent stuff with your class, but instead I get to go
visit your garden site and decorate it for your Bday. Not
mas much fun as you can tell. The only really good part
about it, is when we let balloons go for you cause I know
you are waiting to catch them and share them with your
angel friends there. That always brings a smile to my
face even though I have tears in my eyes. Well It will be a
little better this year, because Kaden will be able to
share it with us. We tell him about you all the time, so
that he grows up knowing what a wonderful big brother
you are, even though your not here physically. I hope you
know what a great little brother he is. Mommy said that
Kaden got on the back of the couch today and pointed
at your picture and said Bu bu and she said thats right
that is your bubby..we believe he knows who you are.
We say that the way his little butt is curved funny, that it
was where you held onto him as you flew around
heaven, before he got to be born, cause as we know, all
babies come from heaven. I guess you must be his
Guardian Angel.
Love always,
Daddy
boy, it's almost 3 years now since you have been gone
and well it hasn't got much easier without you. Today has
bee very rough, we were listening to a Cd we got your
little brother Kaden and some of the songs were ones
that mommy and I used to sing to you and I guess being
so close to your Bday, it really started bothering me you
not being here. I just started crying and kept trying to
sing, but couldn't. Sometimes when I'm playing with
Kaden i think how happy I am, But I know that if you were
here I could be so much more happier. And it makes me
feel sad that your not here to have fun with us and that
depresses me, cause it's still not fair that your not here. I
think I'm starting to feel mad again that your not here.
This year may be harder because it just is or maybe
because you would have started school. I would have
been so excited to take you to school for the first time
and waited for you to come home and tell me all about it
and how much fun you had and how many new friends
you had met and how nice your teacher was. I would
have looked forward to helping out on field trips and
doing parent stuff with your class, but instead I get to go
visit your garden site and decorate it for your Bday. Not
mas much fun as you can tell. The only really good part
about it, is when we let balloons go for you cause I know
you are waiting to catch them and share them with your
angel friends there. That always brings a smile to my
face even though I have tears in my eyes. Well It will be a
little better this year, because Kaden will be able to
share it with us. We tell him about you all the time, so
that he grows up knowing what a wonderful big brother
you are, even though your not here physically. I hope you
know what a great little brother he is. Mommy said that
Kaden got on the back of the couch today and pointed
at your picture and said Bu bu and she said thats right
that is your bubby..we believe he knows who you are.
We say that the way his little butt is curved funny, that it
was where you held onto him as you flew around
heaven, before he got to be born, cause as we know, all
babies come from heaven. I guess you must be his
Guardian Angel.
Love always,
Daddy
More memo's from Mommy:
Matthew-
My darling angel boy it has been three years since you
have went to heaven, some days it feels more like three
hundred. I miss your smile and your laugh more and
more. I see the sparkling of your laughter in your
brothers eyes and wonder what it would be like if both of
you were both here together laughing and playing.
There are times when Kaden will look around and laugh
and I feel like you are playing right beside him. I imagine
you coming home from school and telling me about your
day and sitting on you daddy’s or papoo’s lap watching
TV.
There are days when I look out the window at work and
wonder if you are happy in heaven. I know that you are
protected because God is watching you along with your
grandpa and mamoo but it is not the same because I
want to hold you in my arms. I wish I could one more
time, just hold you and kiss your face and tell you what a
wonderful son you were and are. You have been my
inspiration, the reason I keep living each day because I
know someday I will be with you again. You are the
reason I went back to school and now I am about to
finish. You have been the ray of hope in my life even
through the darkest parts. I can still feel your presence,
some days more than others. I know you are protecting
your little brother from harm. And I hope you do this
forever. On a side note, I hope you are checking in on
your cousins and friends. Some of them need your
guardianship too.
My baby blue, I love you more and more each day.
Some days the hurt is not so bad and then there are
days I can barely breathe and welcome sleep so I can
meet you in my dreams. There are days when I look at
your father and he doesn't smile because he hurts and
that hurts me because there is nothing I can do except
say it is okay things will be okay and I am not even sure
if they will. I am trying to be a good mom to your little
brother and I am not sure I can do that because
sometimes I feel I failed you. But I love him so much just
like I love you. You both are my heart and soul. So what I
am trying to say Matthew is that I love you, I miss you
and I cannot wait to see you again, even if it is my
dreams.
Love always,
Mommy
Matthew-
My darling angel boy it has been three years since you
have went to heaven, some days it feels more like three
hundred. I miss your smile and your laugh more and
more. I see the sparkling of your laughter in your
brothers eyes and wonder what it would be like if both of
you were both here together laughing and playing.
There are times when Kaden will look around and laugh
and I feel like you are playing right beside him. I imagine
you coming home from school and telling me about your
day and sitting on you daddy’s or papoo’s lap watching
TV.
There are days when I look out the window at work and
wonder if you are happy in heaven. I know that you are
protected because God is watching you along with your
grandpa and mamoo but it is not the same because I
want to hold you in my arms. I wish I could one more
time, just hold you and kiss your face and tell you what a
wonderful son you were and are. You have been my
inspiration, the reason I keep living each day because I
know someday I will be with you again. You are the
reason I went back to school and now I am about to
finish. You have been the ray of hope in my life even
through the darkest parts. I can still feel your presence,
some days more than others. I know you are protecting
your little brother from harm. And I hope you do this
forever. On a side note, I hope you are checking in on
your cousins and friends. Some of them need your
guardianship too.
My baby blue, I love you more and more each day.
Some days the hurt is not so bad and then there are
days I can barely breathe and welcome sleep so I can
meet you in my dreams. There are days when I look at
your father and he doesn't smile because he hurts and
that hurts me because there is nothing I can do except
say it is okay things will be okay and I am not even sure
if they will. I am trying to be a good mom to your little
brother and I am not sure I can do that because
sometimes I feel I failed you. But I love him so much just
like I love you. You both are my heart and soul. So what I
am trying to say Matthew is that I love you, I miss you
and I cannot wait to see you again, even if it is my
dreams.
Love always,
Mommy
Matthew Hunter Vinson